I Think About Her Often...

I remember the old me; I think about her often. I remember how she commanded every room she entered and smiled at everyone passing her by. She emulated confidence in her stride and style. She captivated audiences with her charm, class, and grace. She knew the importance of humility and walked with God while on her race.

But, oh, that girl had quite the life shift. From a senior in college, on top of the world, she became quarantined and pregnant with the world’s weight on her shoulders. The girl that once dreamed so many dreams allowed circumstances to let her lose everything. In a world full of covid, social unrest, and hate, how could she possibly create something great? Oh, but she persisted even when quitting was clear, the Devil tried his best, but God drew her near. She finished school online, and when she looked in the mirror, her stomach was round, and she realized her future had drawn nearer. Looking at her reflection, she had no drive, no goals, no wonder, and no true happiness inside. Even then, she thought about the girl she used to be and slowly began to dream of what she could still be...

Instead of giving up, she did what any mother would do and pulled up her bootstraps to make life do. She birthed her baby boy, so strong and mighty is she to endure such an experience with God the Almighty. Her son simultaneously gave her purpose and pain as she quickly understood that the game had forever changed. But God does provide, and once she dared to dream again, he suddenly gave her all her heart's desires from within. Slowly but surely, her true happiness returned, and she found nothing but joy in her beautiful son. Her dreams came back, but this time wilder than ever. She said I'll love myself even through the stormiest weather.

Another thing she chose to do was live the life of her wildest dreams. Lord, how that decision truly changed everything. In less than a year, she became nationally recognized. The best of the best at HBCUs nationwide, thanks AT&T for undoubtedly seeing her rise. While she's still working on gaining some things back, she understands that sometimes it's okay to lack. Her confidence could be stronger, and self-doubt certainly attacks. Her smile, while still beautiful, doesn't always shine bright. Oh, and motherhood is a journey, all right.

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Even now, with all the great things happening in her life, she still often thinks of who she used to be. Though the ups and downs evolved her into the woman she is today, she still often thinks of who she used to be. One day, she'll probably look back again and notice the girl who wrote this didn’t lack anything. She'll remember her joy and her strength to strive. The way her baby boy smiled when he learned something new or tried to hide. Her first messy home and the small home office will be but a memory to her someday.

In this blog, she will finally say to cherish those moments you have each day. For if that old version of Poppy, she often thinks of, had only known how life would truly divulge. A pandemic, 2020, her world flipped upside down. She would have lived every day as if it were her last and cherished each moment as it came to pass.

Tell me, when was the last time you thought about who you used to be?

• 0%Just now, after reading this.
• 0%A few months ago.
• 0%Within the last two weeks.
• 0%Never.